The Only Exception to the Rule of Me
by a-hirsch
Summary: Alison can't remember when her frozen heart became to splinter at the warmth of one Emily Fields, but every minute, hour, day slowly but surely is melting her chilled organ.
1. Chapter 1

Alison is crippling, frigid. She takes the air straight out of your unfilled lungs leaving you gasping for more. She is the human personification of living ice. She is evil,ruthless,viscous at a most untouchable level. Her crystal blue eyes can pierce your soul and latch onto your dirtiest deepest secret only to use it against you at your weakest of moments. Her prefect light pink lips can at one moment give you everything you need with just one simple kiss just to have it ripped away when those sugary lips turned into a twisted smear dripping with refined unsettlement. Alison's endless beauty shields her malicious, calculating interior that doesn't shy away from acts of nothing but pure torment, extending to lack any hints of remorse in her deceivable syrupy sweet voice. Loving her is almost a sure fire sentencing of everlasting misery drugged with rare instances of bleak hope of one day she will be able to learn to love with only just for a second. She could bring you to the point of no return and would hesitant for a brief moment before pushing even farther and much harder to bring you to your knees. Her thirst is only quenched with the tears are her fallen victims, the slumping of their worn shoulders in inevitable defeat, the look of exhaustion embracing their tiresome faces. Her hunger satisfied with unrequited longing,craving,begging to never be returned on her chilly behalf. Alison is the simplest of term is a monster, a beautiful monster unrivaled by any other force in her wake.

That was until she met her biggest downfall in one Emily Fields. Emily was nothing but innocence,patience,loyalty in human form. She didn't just embody such traits, she was them. Her smile was equipped with honest feelings of pure happiness littered with genuineness. Her soul so gentle she is naive to her own capacity of her own potential and power. When Alison broke down, she was the one person that could lend her hand and fix you. Her heart holds nothing against another, she forgives almost instantly at what most wouldn't dare ever to consider She wears her heart on her sleeve time and time again even though passed experience has taught her better. Her goodness clashes in a way that stifles the force that is Alison. Together is something that should damage and wound each other and at time it does just that, but sometimes they melt away the flaws of one another and enhance the purifies. Ali turns almost human in her stance, while Emily is empowered to establish her inner strength. Together is something completely different. Together is something that shouldn't exist, but it still does beautifully so.

Alison can't remember when her frozen heart began to splinter at the warmth radiating from one Emily Fields, but every minute,hour,day, slowly but surely is liquidizing the chilled organ. She thinks its the time Emily does the exact opposite as what herself would do. Its when someone bumps into her in the hallway at school and she apologizes profusely though she isn't at fault, it's when she holds the door for the aging woman at the grill, it's when she pats gently on Hanna's back as she cries. Each gesture brought a drop of chill to drain from the cold appendage that lives in Ali's chest. Alison would never call what she feels towards her as love possibly enticement maybe at best attachment. She could never keep Emily under her thumb for any real amount of time. The only person she couldn't see through like a streak free glass window. She was the one person to make Alison question her motives, and most importantly herself. One time that stands out the most in Alison's mind and she will forever be locked in.

It was a some lame attempt at a back to school bash at Noel Kahn's cabin. The residence was filled with drunk teenagers dancing wildly to horrid techno tunes dripping from the stero system. Ali spent the night moving around throwing glassy glares, and crass words at inspecting party goers. As she walked people parted like the red sea. They didn't dare to look her in the eyes as if she was the Greek god Medusa and one stare would cause them to turn to stone. She went dumb boy to dumber boy toying with their eagerness to please and hinting at the fact they will never get what it is they desired most...Her.

As she makes back to girls sitting stiffly on the old couch she notices that Emily has departed from her previous position in sandwiched among Hanna and Spencer. Her eyes then scan the room to fall on Emily talking closely with a jock who was obviously trying his best to persuade Emily into some sort of after part fun. Ali wouldn't say she was envious just taken back by Emily's sudden confidence. She flawlessly makes her way over to the pair when she approaches Emily is giving her the same smile filled with her undying love. "Mind if I take my dance partner?" Alison asks but giving much room for an answer as she clutches Emily's hand and drags her to the open floor where people are dancing. The fast upbeat tempo swiftly drifting away leaving a seducing sultry slow ballad in the air waves surrounding them. Emily begins to pull away already cautioning Ali will no longer desire to dance. Something deep inside Ali wants to prove her wrong even for just a split second whether to just better string her along, or for one rare moment of just wanting to be close. So she grasps Emily's hand and pulls the girl close sliding her hands behind her neck. Emily is evidently shocked as her body goes rigid but soon relaxes as Ali settles her head into the crook of her neck. They don't speak, just sway and let the music, the moment, and the feelings overcome them. Soon the song is through and Ali is back to her same cruel behavior, and Emily is left with a foul sense of hope stinging in her core. Alison wouldn't called it love what she felt, just closeness tainted with glimmers of affection and admiration.

Their odd relation only grows and deepens as time passes. There are rules in their undisclosed world. Expectations are never to exist. Ali is toying with Emily and tells her that she will let her down, and she will end up getting hurt in the end not with her words but more with her distinct actions. Emily seems unfazed by these remarks on their bond. The vastly bizarre connection they share isn't easily expressed in words, but in the chaotic moments surrounding them. Like when they are celebrating Valentine's Day together just the two of them. The celebrate with cheap strawberry wine and tasteless romantic comedies. They spend the day obvious to the rest of the world gobbling down corny heart shaped candies. Alison can feel Emily's eyes burning with consideration staring at the side of her head, and could feel her heart calling out for Alison and forever only Alison. Ali then takes the remote off the bedside table and hits off button to the television, Emily turn to her with a confused look upon her face. Ali only smile back at the unsure look. It's hard to believe loving someone as much as Emily loves her. She definitely isn't easy to love she knows that. The unwavering love Emily embodies is interesting,enchanting even. And sense it is the day of love Ali decided to throw the hopeless girl a bone, and kisses her plump lips. The kiss is almost over before it begins. Emily is left flustered and grinning like a fool in love, because that is exactly what she was. Alison just takes the girl in, smiling back before heading towards the door for a date with some mystery guy. And just like that Ali isn't so sure she wants to leave, but does so wouldn't call what she feels love just attraction and sparks of comfort. But her heart seems a bit more open and a bit more welcoming. The darkness weighing down her shoulders is slightly a little less heavy.

As time passed so did the ever changing feelings inside Alison's heart and mind, while Emily's never seem to falter. She no longer feels a high when she tears a person down, she doesn't get a fix from having someone shatter at her hands. What once filled her now only leaves her with a faint ache. She notices the shame in Emily's eyes when she spills her cruel words, the quiver in her upper lip when she raises her voice in distaste. Emily has somehow unannounced to either of them managed to burrow a soft spot into Ali. She can no longer live in denial that this is all a sick game to feed her inflated ego. She couldn't pretend that Emily had no effect on her any longer.

One night was the most obvious turning point it the plot to whatever it was they seeked in one another. Ali had just arrived back in Rosewood after her latest visit to her grandmother's. The girls had planned a welcome back sleepover for her return at Hanna's house that night. But when Alison had failed to make an appearance Emily decided to go and check on the young girl. As she walks up the the Delaurentis's family home she takes notice to the fact that both family cars are gone from the driveway. Emily slowly walks to the front door and knocks but there is no answer just stillness. She is about to leave when she sees a window open in Alison's room, and she knows this wouldn't happen unless she was home. Emily goes through her bag to retrieve the key Mrs. Delaurentis gave her in case of emergencies. She opens the doors and heads up the stairs towards the creamy door of Alison's room. She slowly opens it to reveal blond hair in a disheveled mess laying sprawled out upon the even turning around Ali knew it was Emily staring at the back of her head. Tears are falling down her porcelain cheeks like a stream. Alison will never tell anyone what lead to the tears to fall,she would never expose what made her weak. She hears Emily's gently and careful foot steps coming closer to the bed. "Ali?" she hears a tiny voice say. "Alison?" the same voice calls only now more frantic in its tone. She remains facing the wall hoping the girl will think she is fast asleep. But Emily only pushes forward and sits on the edge of the bed before lying down completely in the same position as herself.

They remain in this comfortable silence for quite some time before Alison's better judgment falters and she turns to face the girls tears and all. Emily's face is riddled with sorrow,pain,weakness seeing Ali like this. Then Emily does something so Emily of her, she holds Alison close as she cries. The Alison that exists outside this room would have pushed her off with a rude laugh but for the moment she was content to break down and only be held together in the protective walls of Emily's arms. Even more time passes without a single word falling between them, until Ali asks the one question she already know the answer to "Em. Do you love me?" Emily doesn't squinted her eyes in thought or even take a second to process before saying "Yes." That was all it took for Ali to crash their lips in a desperate kiss and molding their bodies into one form. She let herself feel the moment, let herself be cloaked in Emily's love. Her tears holding them to reality and staining their passionate kiss with the taste of salt. Emily pulls back with a look of "Are you sure you want to do this?" Ali only responds by kissing at the expose skin on Emily's neck. Emily runs her hands up and down her back leaving a trail of goose bumps causes Ali eyes to involuntary roll in the back of her head. Hands are exploring new territory on one another's bodies. They are memorizing every mire inch,curve,edge of their lover's form. Soon clothing is left in a cluster on the floor and all that is left is a disarray of limbs entanglement,lust filled air,and fireworks going off. Emily is soon fast asleep clinging to Ali for dear life. One part of Alison wants nothing more than to run far , far away from this this. But the other part think maybe just maybe she wants nothing more than to stay like this for the rest of her days. For the first time Alison couldn't say what she felt couldn't be explained with the use of the word love. Because what happened in those tussled sheets sure felt a lot like making love. And it scared the hell out of Alison.

To think her power is being plagued by moments made tender by the sweet brunette was concerning to say the least. She slowly saw the person was fading to the background ever so slowly but ever so surely at he hands of Emily. When she decides to disappear to save her life she doesn't miss much because there wasn't much there. She didn't miss Jason, her mother or father. She never let anyone close enough to get attached enough to very miss except Emily. Emily was always the exception to the rule of Alison. She was the one person in this world that was specials enough for her to miss. Alison ponders while Emily can be her strength she can also be her only weakness. She wonders when pretending became reality, when plastic became concrete, when flirtation became so much more. Because of Emily and only Emily she can feel herself surely becoming the person she always has dreamed of becoming. A person people would love and could miss. Her soul once home of ice is now just a slushy mess inside her ribcage remains. Alison has a storm in her mind at all times but Emily was like the sun that slowly rises and calms the storm. Alison comes off as hard to get and even harder to keep. There is a reason for that. She been through a few things,seen a few things, she's been there and she's has done that. She's built a fortress to protect her heart from further damaged and disappoint. Emily is different and Alison believes it because she has proven it not by words but by her actions which means so more.

Alison can't help but see the look of so many emotions running on Emily's face at the sight of herself. Emotion,hurt,shock,anger,but most of all was the still the glimmers of hope in her eyes that Ali had grown to miss so much more than anything. All it takes it is a simple "Ali, don't leave again." for her to have to gulp down the tears threatening in her eyes. She wants to tell Emily she wants to tell her everything she wants nothing more than to be back home, and never leave again unless Emily would be beside her. She wanted to show Emily is was finally a person Emily could love proudly. But again an interruption break up the reunion and she back to running. Alison walking around the dingy warehouse the faint noise of metal clacking, and water dripping to concrete. And then she is there, the person Alison has thought about hard day after hard day for the last two Emily turns around there is no sign of hurt,anger,anguish, just the hope remain a constant. They embrace and for the first time in Alison's short existence she feels at home. It lasts for what feels like hours but at the same time only mire seconds. When they break apart so does a small piece of herself. She studies her faces as Emily speaks. Her eyes have a new sense of strength and her smile still beholds the same radiant flow of caring. She was still her Emily after all this time. Then there is a loud crash of a noise and Alison knows Emily has told about their secret meeting she always could be over trusting. So Alison has to leave once more again as the elevator door slams close tears fall from her ocean eyes not because of angry but another lost moment that could have been theirs. They lost another chance at making up for so much lost time.

She hasn't seen Emily in quite some time, she is now in New York of all places. It a city of millions of people she has never felt as lonely as she does in this place. But as she watches her five old friends moving around with uncertain looks on her faces, she feels a little less alone. Noel had gotten them here. They were here. Emily was here. As she walked carefully towards them each as a different emotion coming off of them. Hanna is uncertain, Aria is confused, Spencer is reluctant, Emily is happy. Hanna soon hugs her old tormentor, and Alison hopes she can make up for all she has done to the other soon follows after. In that moment Ali has a decision to make, she can hug Emily as if she is like the others, or she can stop running. Ali is tried of running. So she does something the old Alison would never think to do. She takes Emily's hand into her own and intertwine them perfectly. To most its a simple gesture but with that imitate act She is giving Emily all she has to offer. Alison lightly squeezes Emily's hand and Emily squeezes back. It's a pact between them for as long as their hand are one they wouldn't have to face the world alone. Emily is smiling at the sight of their hands molded together and Alison sincerely smiles back.

At that moment she knew only word in the world could be described by one word that word being...Love. She knew this was the last time she would let go. She knows that since what they have in one another ins real honest heart wrenching love, they can learn to wait much like they have already been doing. Because maybe right now they aren't meant to be together today but meant to be in the future, and then forever after that. Alison thinks loving Emily is a mistake. Loving Emily is her favorite mistake. She knows expectations are the root of all heartbreak but she was finally willing to risk that for Emily and only ever Emily. Emily truly was the exception to the rule of Alison.


	2. Chapter 2

They talk. They talk about the night Alison drifted away into the thin air taking flight in the wind. She tells them all she knows, everything she kept buried for so long, hoping it would not just show Emily but all of them she is done playing games and having hidden agendas and only seeks to come home. She tells them about Ezra, Ian, Mona, all the people that have helped or hurt them down this winding road.

They drink coffee like old times, Alison can't pretend she isn't happy Emily is next to her just like before. It is the small comfort that not everything has changed. But this isn't a moment to get too lost in, because much like all the others it has an inevitable ending.

This isn't a time to make promises of forever, to make plans, to envision a future. This is a time for closure, acceptance, moving forward at a different place in time as different people. Alison can see the vast changes in all the girls. Hanna is no longer dependent and needy, she is intelligent and stands on her own. Aria isn't weak and easily kept under Alison's thumb, she is empowered and speaks her opinion. Spencer is even more protective, even more a leader. They had all came full circle thanks to A.

Just when they start to feel secure, just when A seems to go to the back of their minds, there is a crash and a loud constant pounding on the door of the coffee joint. The girls turn to look at Ali if this is expected when they see her look of terror they know it's not. That night led to them on the roof of the old building,Ezra taking a bullet, and A literally flying into the night. Spencer and Hanna go with Aria to the hospital to be Ezra.

Alison knows first hand the feelings of seeing the only thing on this earth that you love being in such a fragile state. Where at any moment they could leave you behind to die as well. She feels sorrow for Aria's twisting pain. Ezra was much like her a good person making bad decisions but so willing to give that up for the person they love. She feels sorrow for him too.

Ali watches Emily from her wooden stool in the tiny kitchen of her loft apartment over top the coffee shop. Emily is sitting nestled sweetly in Alison's over sized grey sweater, her scent waffling in Emily's nose. She is hugging her knees to her chest in the large chase chair close to the crackling fire keeping her warm. The sight of Emily in her sweater makes her heart start to swell. She makes them two mugs of piping coffee and sits Emily's on the coffee table beside her. Emily isn't crying, she isn't talking, she is just still with this unreadable look laying on her face.

They drink their coffee in silence, enjoying just being close. "Why didn't you take me with you?" Emily asks rapidly and Alison is a bit taken back by her choice of words. "What do you mean?" Alison asks wanting to know the answer. "I mean at the barn. You said I had a choice to stay or." Emily starts saying but is cut off by Ali "Or you could come with me. I know. It would have been selfish for me to have had you come with me. I was constantly paranoid,on edge,lonely,depressed. I never wanted any of that for you." Alison says honestly. "What changed?" Emily asks. "Hmm?" Ali asks confused. "You said you were all of those things. Why did that change?" Emily explains. "You came back into my life. You and the girls changed that." Ali says with a faint smile. "I really miss you Emily." Ali continued. "I missed you too. So much." Emily says smiling back reaching her hand out to cover Alison's.

They talked about so much after that. Ali tells about her adventures ranging from the perverse old man on the subway groping her for a dollar, or how whenever a cop's sirens went off she couldn't breathe. Emily talked about her coming out, and about all A had done to them. It was getting late when they get the call Ezra was out of surgery and out of the woods but the girls were going to stay there for the night. Ali felt the air between her an Emily lift a little after the fate of Ezra was safe.

By the yawn embracing Emily's lips Ali concluded it's time for them to get some sleep. She leads Emily to the small full bed in the far right corner on the apartment. Emily is still in Alison's sweater. They get comfortable on their sides of the bed under the covers. "Ali?" Emily asks her voice deepened by lack of sleep. "Yeah?" Ali says back. "Are we still going to Paris?" Emily asks bleakly. Ali isn't sure they will ever get to there. "Forever." Alison says wanting nothing more than to believe in her own words. She turns her head to see Emily is smiling, she knows she would have no problem waking up next to that same smile every morning. "Let's get lost Em." She says not sure where she is even headed with that statement. "In Paris?" Emily asks her eyes now closed. "In each other." Ali replied and Emily's eyes shoot open. Her eyes beheld all she needed to know...They gave Ali answers to questions she never knew to ask. They lingered with promise. Ali gently runs her hand over Emily's cheek before laying on her back, she hears Emily turning in the same position, then she notices Emily once again intertwining their fingers. They were truly already lost in each other, and had been for a long as either of them could remember.

Ali falls into deep sleep with the same lipstick from Emily till stained on her brain. Emily gave Alison's life direction, and especially her love direction. She shouldn't have made a promise of forever, buts she wants the world to see her with Emily. Here she was once again breaking her own rules for Emily Fields. Happily so...


	3. Chapter 3

Alison's mother was never warm and inviting unless she had to that way. Her mother didn't rub her back when she was sick, she didn't whip her tears when she was hurting. No, she was cold. She taught Ali the ways of fighting fire with fire,manipulation, excessive force. Alison wasn't born a monster, she was sculpted and carved that way by Jessica Delaurentis. But no matter her mother's vast fault, she was still her mother. So when news broke they had found Jessica's decaying body buried, Ali saw the opportunity and decided to stop running.

Today was the funeral at the same small Rosewood chapel, Ali's own service had been held at. As she makes her way up the staircase to the church she can hear small chit chat over the dreary sounds echoing from the organ playing in the background. As she proceeds through the massive white doors to the elaborate service. The room goes silent and all that can be heard are the sounds of heads turning in disgust. People are whispering behind closed hands, and faces held no requisite of remorse or sorrow. Just hatred and unwanted stain their cruel mugs. Alison tries not to falter and push forward held high, shoulders strong.

She sees Aria waving her over to sit with her and the other girls. Ali sends her a smile oozing with apprehension. Aria is sitting on the outside of the long pew with Emily next to her and Hanna and Spencer follow after. Emily looks at her with pure misery and pain, and the look of a heavy heart. Ali or Emily neither say anything, their eyes say it all. The minister clamors about all the good Jessica did before her premature departure. Even the way his tongue curled in distaste made you believe he didn't even believe his words. Alison didn't cry but her heart as indeed made heavy. She in all honesty did feel she lost something. Because in reality she never had a mother. But she did lose the what if... What if If too could learn to change like Ali herself did. Maybe she lost her chance at being a mother but maybe her second chance could be found in her as a grandmother one day in the far off future. As people departed on their way to have Jessica forever committed to the Earth.

Something strikes in Ali's core and he flees to the bathroom and enters the small stall and locks the door behind her. Moments later she heard the bathroom door open slowly in caution. The being doesn't speak, seconds later a tanned hand is being extended under the stall wanting to be taken. Ali shakes her head at how dumb they probably look but doesn't hesitant to sit down and take Emily's hand in her own. They stay in this position for quite sometime, holding hands in silence under a bathroom stall door. Alison thinks endlessly about what kind of love Emily must have for her to do such a sweet thing. Her love is so patient that when Alison's darkest of sides comes out to play, Emily can the find the forgiveness in her heart for Ali. Emily is the one constant in her life, the one thing that has remained unchanged only strengthened. She looks at the hand in hers, it's so familiar. The same hand that brushed away a stray hair when the breeze of the spring air sends it in a disarray. The same hand that Ali held when it was just the two of them in a empty dark movie theater. The same hand Alison clung to when her world was crumbling down around her.

At that moment she couldn't stand the distant between them any longer. She no longer wanted any obstacles between them in their path to one another. So she quickly lets go of Emily's hand and throws open the stall door. She pulls Emily into the stall and crashing their lips together. They kissed, and kiss, and kiss. In that imitate act Alison doesn't just see fireworks she feels them. She feels the sparks,heat,potential. The sounds of the bland organ now only faintly being drowned out in the distance. They were saying all they need to say with each deliberate delicate placed movement on one's lips. When they finally break apart Emily's eyes are stinging with tears and both are heavily heaving lack of air. So as they catch their breath they walk out of the bathroom hand in hand.

They are still getting looks of hatred, and discontentment. But when Emily smiles back reassuring she knows she can do this. Plus she wouldn't have to do this alone...Not anymore. The following day Alison had yet to venture out of her old house. It never felt like a home and it never would be. Home wasn't a place it was a person. Home was Emily. Home was the feeling of safety and love she only got from being with her.

Two calls from Spencer, four texts from Aria, and one call and three texts from Hanna later she hopes they get the point. She needs space, some time. She needs to just be with Emily right now. Emily was back from the bathroom as she sits on Alison's bed as Ali sits opposite her in her light pink chair. This was the time to be open, start fresh. She wanted. No needed to tell Emily everything. No more secrets, or cryptic answers.

"What did yesterday mean Ali?" Emily asks her eyes lingering with want. "I just needed to feel close to you." Ali says. Emily nods with an unreadable look being displayed on her copper toned face. "I was in love with you. And you knew that, you always knew probably before I even did. And you played me for so long, that it killed a little piece of me everyday. Ali you broke my heart. I can't put myself through that again. I just won't. I'm not that same dopey eyed little girl you left behind." Emily says her voice never wavering for a second. Alison is hurt my Emily's words but can easily feel the truth in them. "I know. I'm so sorry for hurting you. But, you have to trust me. I'm not that person anymore. I've changed, and all because of you. Em, you showed me how to be the person I've always dreamed of being." Alison says back hoping her words are enough for no at least. "Ali I forgive. I forgave you a long time what happened yesterday can't happen." Emily replies back. Ali wants to argue back, she wants to fight for the fact she believes in what they have. But she doesn't want to scare Emily off, and lose her all over again. "Okay." Is all Ali says back.

Emily slowly removes herself from the bed and moves to say goodbye. They embrace in a warm hug before Ali whispers in Emily's ear "I will fight for you. For you." As they break apart Emily is smiling and her cheeks are tinted with red. Emily gives her a small wave before departing her room.

She wasn't sure how but she was going to prove herself to Emily like how Emily has endlessly proven herself to Ali. Alison wouldn't lose her chance at redemption. She was no longer sculpted and craved at the hands of her twisted mother but at the tender loving hands of Emily Fields.


	4. Chapter 4

Ali knows that it's not permanent the distance among her and Emily. It's something she has to do for them to get to a place of understanding and more answers than questions. Ali feels so small and she with stumble and fall but she will get there crawling on her hands and knees inch by sadistic inch she will make it. Alison Delaurentis will always make it. While Emily doesn't give up on her she will keep trying. Alison will swallow her pride and say everything she needs to say to the people she loves...especially Emily.

Tomorrow is the start of the journey of getting back to day to day quaintness. Being back in this town feels wrong, it doesn't have the same feelings of relief and comfort. Alison starts school. Tomorrow was the day she headed back to the halls she once ruled with a manicured ironed fist. Homeschool was not an option she was not going to be a hermit and never leave her home due to fear of looks and words spoken. She looks around the room consuming her. So many nice things, that she know longer feels the privilege to touch.

She lays her head down on the pillow wanting nothing more than to get lost in her dreams for eternity. When she awakes the next morning, she doesn't strive to look her best, she strives to go unnoticed between the sea of teenagers. She puts her hair up in a messy bun at the top of her head, doesn't apply makeup, and settles on her dark blue cardigan and dark denim jeans. As she looks in the mirror she cannot even recognize herself. As she heads down stairs her father is no where to be found. Just the money for lunch, and a backpack with some notebooks and pencils. She chooses to take her old bike to school, she never did get the chance to get her license.

On arrival to the haunted building, lingering with times Alison had hated herself all she can do is swallow down the tears. She puts her bike neatly on the bike rake, pull the sweater over here arms even farther thinking it would somehow camouflage her. She keeps her eyes peered down never looking up out of fear of rejection. Then a boy with a bad case of acne is in front of her face. He is screaming words of hatred like "Zombie." "Back from the dead beauty Queen." She looks around to see people she hasn't seen in over two years laughing at the remarks. The boy is mire inching from her face. She finches at each and every word dripping from his mouth. A teacher is soon to end the engagement ushering the boy towards the principal office.

Ali buried her head even further downward on her path to her locker. When there is a crowd of people surrounding it, they part when they see her approach. In bright red spray paint, in large bold letters is the message "The bitch is back!" is sprawled out. She feels the need to flee again but then there is a hand to haul her on her shoulder. It was Hanna. She takes the books from Alison's hands and directs her to Alison's first class. But not before saying "Don't you have anything better to do!" Alison appreciates Hanna for doing that after all she has done to her. She they get to the classroom door of sophomore English. "Thank you." is all Ali can get out. "Always." Hanna says before wrapping her tightly in a hug. When they break apart Hanna smiles and nods her to enter the classroom, Ali smiles back.

She spent the day hiding in the back of classrooms, careful not to seen or heard. She didn't raise her hand, she was careful not to bump into anyone in the halls. But now it was time for lunch. She had gotten in line and gotten her tray of food she couldn't really disguise what it was but she was no longer picky after her time spent going place to place. She scans the room searching for an empty seat to crumble into.

She sees the girls outside on a picnic table so she makes her way over to them. She sits down next to Spencer, directly across to Emily. They are sitting around laughing and smiling. Alison begins to chow down on her meal, she is hungry. After she takes a breath she sees the look on the girls faces. "Jeez, Ali. Slow down. You're worse than Hanna when she's nervous." Spencer says to her. She had yet to realize her new found eating habit. Sometimes money was hard to come by and with that so did food. Ali just smiles back and commands her body to slow down the inhale.

The girls talk about boys,colleges,homework. Everything she hadn't thought about in years. After she finishes up her lunch she attends her last two classes of the day. She heads out to the parking lot in her search of her bike. All she finds is the chain lock broken in the spot it once stood. She deserves this she knows. She knows this should be coming down on her. But did it all have to pour down at once.

She begins the six mile track to her house on foot. When she doesn't think it could get any worse... The clear blue sky give way to a down pour. She is soaked only shielded by holding her backpack over her head in a desperate attempt at salvage. When a car stops besides her on the sidewalk. The passenger side window rolls down to reveal Emily.

"Ali?" Emily asks trying to see if it was indeed the girl. Ali turns to her mascara running. "Go away Emily." Ali says as she begins walking again.

"Do you need a ride?" Emily asked avoiding the prior statement. "No. You want space right? So I'm giving you that. So again go away." Ali says picking up her pace. "

Ali." Emily says with a sign. "No! Don't do that! Don't Ali me! You don't want me around. You don't trust me! So just go!" Ali screams to the girl in the car.

Emily doesn't say anything just parks the car right in the middle of the street and gets out in the pouring rain and walks close to the damp blonde. "Do you honestly think this is easy on me? I fucking love you Alison. I never stopped. Do you blame me for not trusting you? You made me believe you died. I cried myself to sleep for months, I never thought I would smile again, I never thought I could love again. You took a big piece of me with you when you left. Don't make this all about you!" Emily yells back in frustration less than an inch away from Alison's face. "I never said it was easy for you. I don't know what you want me to do? What do you want from me Emily? Tell me and I will give it to you. Just tell me!" Alison says in tears as she screams.

"I want you to try! I want you to try and let me in. I want you to let me be there for you. Damn it Ali just be real with for once in you life!" Emily yells throwing her hands up. "I'm always trying for you! Don't you get it? I'm trying to be real with now and you're the one pushing me away! I can't take it!" Alison throws back her.

"I care about you Emily!" Ali says. "You can't say it can you? You can't say you love me can you?" Emily asks her voice still raised. Ali gets as close to Emily's face as she can without their lips touching. "I'm a hot mess. I'm broken. Like everyone says I'm just a bitch." Ali says.

"No. you're not." Emily says softly trying to hug Ali. "Don't!" Ali says stopping her advances.

"Ali, you're a lot more than that." Emily pleads. "You obviously don't think so." She says turning around headed back in the route of her house.

But before that she turns around and eyes Emily while saying " And just because I can't say it, Em doesn't mean I don't feel it." And just like that she turned around and headed of.

Emily was left soaked in the pouring rain, shaking her head running her hands through her wet hair. The only thing pulling her back to reality was the honking of cars behind her wrongly parked one. It takes everything in her to get in a drive off.


	5. Chapter 5

This game is over. Being the scared victim is never what Alison had intended on being in her return to Rosewood. Power was her drug of choice and she forever would need to get her fix from control. She can't be a person who trembles under people's words, rather spoken or written. As she looks in the mirror her sad blue eyes turn a shade they haven't be in awhile filled with hunger for control and lusting for power.

Emily wanted space that was exactly what she was going to get. If she didn't believe Alison had changed over the last two years she was going to prove Emily right. Being a bitch was second nature and it was easy to fall back into the pace of the monster Ali learned to keep under the bed.

Before school Alison get up and wears a bright red short dress, with her highest black pumps. She spends extra time curling her already perfectly done hair. She adds a little more attention to detail while doing her makeup than before. When she looks in the mirror it's the old Alison she sees. She dashes on her lip gloss and heads for the door her new Chanel bag in tow. She wasn't using her old bike today. No, she had gotten a ride from the hot neighbor down the street.

When she enters the school heads turn in an all too familiar way. Not out of disgust or hatred. but out of fear and respect. Ali missed the respect. she swings off her Versace sunglasses and flips her hair over her shoulder as students and teachers part out of her way. Boys staring at her while their girlfriends look on in jealousy. She sees Hanna, Aria, Spencer, and Emily by Spencer's locker looking on in confusion and shock. As she passes by she doesn't bother to even look their way, just leaves them soaking in their thoughts.

When Alison gets to her own locker she sees that the spray painted words are still present "The bitch is back." She turns to see all eyes are still on her, without all her composure she says "The bitch really is back." And just like that she swings her bag and her heels are clacking to the floor as she makes her way to her first class.

She spends her day much like she did before deciding to disappear. She flirts with lame boys watching as they blush in excitement at things that will never happen. She makes fun of the girls in a constant state of jealousy over her. When lunch comes around she sees the girls at their spot at the picnic table outside, Spencer smiles at her thinking she will be joining them, but as if she was a prized item at an auction hands were calling her over to sit beside them instead. Alison settles on sitting with the air headed cheerleaders and jocks. She puts on a good show laughing at what they have to say, and every now and then adding a comment or two. She can't help but see the look of disappointment upon Emily's face. This is what she wanted and this is what she is getting Alison said to herself.

After school Ali can see that the boy that drop her off had indeed left her behind, when she is just about to walk home Spencer is there. "Hey. You want a ride home?" Spencer asks. Alison doesn't answer just rolls her eyes and opens the passenger side door. "I think we should talk." Spencer asks while Alison is fixing her lip gloss. "And what do we need to talk about?" Alison asks coldly not taking her eyes off her compact mirror.

"Why does it weirdly feel that you never disappeared and you are the same bitchy Alison?" Spencer asked no longer wanting to play nice. Alison slams her compact shut and shovels in her bag. "Because maybe Spencer, I am just a bitch. Ever thought of that? Couldn't your oversized brain figured that out on it's own?" Alison says.

Spencer pulls into her driveway and slams the car in park, but not before locking the passenger side door. "No. You're not a bitch. You can be cruel at times. But you're not a heartless bitch. Emily told us what happened." Spencer says. Alison eyes Spencer "And what did she tell you happened?" Alison asks needing to know how far in depth Emily went.

"She told us that she told you she needed time to process. That she couldn't be a hundred percent sure she could trust you. She told us you took her hard, and you had a huge fight in the middle of the damn rain." Spencer says. Emily didn't disclose the emotional factors in her situation Alison is thankful for that, she is not ready to have people know yet. "I just giving her what she wants Spencer." Ali says with a shrug and then Alison reaches across Spencer door and unlocks herself and leaves to her own house.

When she gets to the door she in unaware of the person sitting upon the steps of her front porch as she fumbling inside her bag in search of her keys. When Alison finally retrieves the keys her eyes are meant with soft sadden brown ones that were stained with tears. "Emily." she lets out with a sign. "Ali." Emily manages to choke out.

Alison lays her bag on the pavement and sits beside Emily. "Come here." Alison says gently ushering Emily to scoot closer to her. Emily listens and moves to rest her head against Ali's shoulder. "What am I going to do with you, Em?" She says with a tiny laugh laying her heading atop of Emily's. "Why are you acting like your old self again?" Emily asks as Ali wipes at her tear streaked cheeks.

"I don't know. A part of me wanted to get a rise out of you. And another part wanted to stop being the victim anymore. It sucks having people either hate you for something you did years ago, or feeling pity for something they will never understand. But I could deal with it when you were there to help me. Then you said you needed time, and I felt alone again. I need you. I need you to me be the person you see. Or who you used to see." Alison says honestly. "Alison, it's not like I'm giving up on you. It's just this is a lot to handle all at once. You're here, then you were missing then dead. Then you were alive and on the run and now you're are here again. How am I suppose to know you won't up and leave again? Ali, I need you too." Emily says tears still falling from her eyes.

"I won't ever leave you again, I promise I'm here to stay. Emily you are my home. I never leaving my home every again." Ali says tears starting to threaten in her own eyes. "I love you Ali." Emily says.

Ali can't seem to find the words to say so she doesn't all she can at the moment. She leans in and kisses Emily's forehead and whispers in her ear " I feel it."

They sit and talk about everything and anything. And for once Alison's knows you have to have faith to take chances. That she needs to know she is before she can know who see wants to be. And that she most surely has a place in this world for her. That place being in the heart of Emily Fields.


End file.
